It's been a while

Wow, it's been a while since I've posted anything on here. Still reading a lot of blogs, but I guess I really haven't had anything to say. Or maybe I just didn't feel like putting in writing.

I was reading my last couple of posts, and BOY how things change in a year. I still work as an RN in the CCU that I've been in for a little over 2 1/2 years. Most of the time I still feel like I don't know enough to be doing the job I do. The powers that be seem to feel differently. We have had a LOT of changes in my unit over the past 6 months. My supervisor left to take a better job, we lost about 8 of our experienced nurses and have hired about 12 new grads. I in the mean time have been charge nurse on a lot of the days that I work. That in itself is pretty scary, but my unit is also the code team for the entire hospital (minus the ER, and the other ICU's). Usually the only other experienced people that show up at the codes are the respiratory therapist, anesthesia (respiratory doesn't intubate at my hospital????) and the resident on call. So that leaves me to run some of these codes and that scares the crap out of me. I have found out that I do know a lot more than I think I know.

Our most experienced nurse is leaving in a couple of weeks for more schooling and I am very sad about it. That leaves me third in line for experience. WOW, that's scary. I hope I don't screw up. I only hope that those above me are right and I am wrong about me being able to do the job being placed in front of me. Only time will tell.

I'll let you know how it goes.

My job

I really do love my job. It can be very overwhelming at times, but all in all I really do love it.
Mostly it's the people I work with. I have made some of the best friends I have ever had in the last year and a half I've been there. There are a few in particular(You know who you are) that I know I can go to with anything and they will always be there to help.

I'm going to be away from work for a while, and I am going to miss my friends way too much. You better come see me. Thank you for being my friend even when I bug the crap out of you all the time. You know it's all in fun. I love you, my friend!!

I'm Tired!!!!!!!!!!

I'm tired. Yesterday was absolutely CRAZY!!!! Thank God one of my patients was not very serious (hyperglycemia, insulin gtt, Q 1hr accu checks) because she basically got ignored. Other patient was a young person who came in for respiratory distress. Newly diagnosed DM, among other problems. I don't think there was one normal lab on this person. Dr's ordered lab I've never heard of and everything kept coming back bad. I've never seen liver enzymes >3700. Dropped an NGT after intubation and immediately got almost a liter of blood from the stomach. OH MY GOD!!!!!! EXPERIENCED RN, COME HELP!!!!!! Frank blood keeps pooling at the back of mouth, nose continues to pour blood!!! What do I do now??? Get stat H&H,CBC, PT, PTT, D-Dimer, DIC panel. H&H is down but not too bad. GI Dr. is in. Go for CT of chest, abdomen, and pelvis. Pressure drops. Give fluid bolus. Get Neo, Suction, suction, suction. SOOO MUCH BLOOD.Finally experienced RN says to get Afrin nose spray, soak some 1/2 inch gauze and pack nose. Eventually bleeding slows. How did you know about that?? Experience.... Pt. stabilizes a little, but is septic and VERY sick.

We keep losing our experienced staff in our unit and pretty soon, I'm going to be one of the experienced. That scares the crap out of me. Since when did it become more important to make money that to provide safe and adequate care for our patients?? I've only been a nurse for about a year and a half, and we have about the sickest patients I've seen in my short career so far. 18 beds, a balloon pump, an oscillator vent, over half of our census on vents, on bleeding profusely, others with the potential of going bad(hence a critical care unit). Not enough nurses to begin with on the PM shift, one calls and is going to be late(family emergency) doesn't know when she's going to get there, then the shift super pulls another nurse. Wait a minute, Hello, that leaves 7 nurses for 17 patients. NOT SAFE AT ALL!!!! PM charge nurse calls shift super and refuses to work in this situation, other units have at least 9 nurses, why can't you pull from there. Why is it ok to make our unit be unsafe. No answer... Calls unit super, she ends up coming in to help. If things keep going like this, all of the experienced nurses are going to leave and then what?? I don't know enough to do this without help. I honestly believe that my pt might have died if it weren't for the charge nurse and experienced nurse helping me yesterday. I'm scared, I'm tired, and I want a different job right now.

I wonder when it's going to get better??

Good Friday

I guess all in all it has been a good Friday. Husband was off work today and the kids were in school. Husband and I spent the day shopping for miscellaneous Easter items and wood. Husband has taken a liking to wood working. It all started out innocently enough. He wanted to make his own turkey calls. He is an avid hunter of all game critters. In fact he and the daughter are going out in the morning for the youth hunt. This is daughters first turkey hunt. She has been Deer hunting since she was three, so she is used to being in the woods and such. Anyway, since husband has become proficient in wood working, he will be building son's new bed for his birthday. Son's room is very small, so he is getting a loft bed for more floor space. Can you guess what son's room will be done in??? Yep, you guessed it, camouflage. Seems as is I am surrounded by lovers of nature and such. I do like it, just not as much as everyone else in my family. It gives me time to read a few good books. If I see an animal, then that's great, but I just like being out there enjoying the view God has given us.

Easter is Sunday, and I have always enjoyed Easter Sunday. This year I'm not looking so forward to it. I've been having some issues with the church I attend. Husband grew up in this church, and is very staunch in his beliefs. As for me, well not so much. I grew up in the Southern Baptist church, and am now a member of a Missionary Baptist church. It is important for my family to go to church together and husband refuses to move. So, I suck it up and go. I hope God understands when I have difficulty listening to the sermon and think about how unhappy I am being there. I usually just avoid the conflict and work on Sundays, but I know that is not the answer either. I know God knows my heart and pray that he will show me where he wants me to be. I just have to be patient, but I am surely not going to pray for that. We all have our new clothes so I'll put on a smile and remember the real reason for why I am there.

Happy Easter to all and I hope God Blesses each of you!!

Spring Break

The kids are on spring break this week. Thought this would be a good week to have some fun, get out and play, be happy.... What was I thinking?! Two days in and the rugrats are whining and crying. Their bored, there's nothing to do, whine, whine, whine. I'm ready to go back to work tomorrow. I'd rather listen to the old folks who are sick whine and cry. Don't know how you home schooling moms do it.

Everything is covered in a fine yellow dust. Sneezing, itchy watery eyes. I'm ready for summer. Tired of all the snotty noses. Anybody else feel this way?? Enough for now, gotta go blow.

Validation

I think I received a little validation today. There is a co-worker of mine that is very matter of fact and doesn't mind telling anyone what he thinks. That is if he even acknowledges that you exist. For the longest, I was afraid of him and dreaded my day if I had to work next to him. It has just been my luck that I have been paired up with him for the past few weeks. All has not been bad, but it makes my work day VERY long. He is not one to chit chat during a slow moment.(few and far between lately). I have always felt that he thinks that I am, at the very least, inadequate as a nurse, but usually just stupid. Well, today our other partner was going to leave the unit for a while when CT came for his patient. He was going to stay and go with patient, but Mr. friendly said "No, you go ahead, Moody RN can go with them, She knows what she is doing". I had to pick up my jaw from the floor before I could go. I know it's not much, but anything that's not negative from him is something. I have to go get ready for tomorrow, and my work day with my new best friend.

Well, here goes.... I've never done anything like this before, but a co-worker of mine has gotten me hooked on reading these things, so I thought I'd try my hand at it too.

I am a new RN working in a critical care unit. I absolutely love my job and all the people I work with. I still feel like I don't really know what I'm doing most of the time, but my co-workers are very willing to answer any questions myself or any of the other new nurses have. They are truely the best people to work with. I have really made a lot of friends in the past year.

I have two young children and the hours I work make it hard sometimes to get them to and from school,dance, daycare..... and anything else 4 and 7 year olds are involved in. My family helps out a lot, but it's still not the same as having mommy or daddy there all of the time.

Well that's it for now. I'm sure I'll get addicted to this just like everyone else, but for now I must go tend to the kids.